Yes, you can be a surrogate without an agency in states that allow it. In an independent journey, you and the intended parents arrange your team and decide who does each task. You still need a clinic, your own lawyers, and clear plans for insurance and payments. At LittleBee, we help get agreed expenses paid in our agency program.
Is independent surrogacy legal where I live?
Some states expressly allow independent surrogacy, but the legal steps differ by state.
In New York, the law’s protections also apply to private arrangements without an agency. You and the intended parents must each have your own lawyer, licensed in New York and experienced in surrogacy. Being friends or relatives does not remove that need1.
California also requires separate, independent lawyers before you sign the agreement. The agreement must be signed and notarized, or signed using the allowed witness process. This must happen before you start injections to prepare for embryo transfer or have the transfer itself2. You also need a court judgment saying who the child’s legal parents are3.
A lawyer who works on surrogacy cases can check which states’ laws affect your plan. Tell them where you and the parents live, where the clinic is, and where you plan to give birth. This matters when those places are in different states4.
Who do I need on my team?
You still need a clinic, a mental health check, and your own lawyer. Going independent can still mean having a full team of professionals. What changes is who finds them and keeps the work moving.
To find intended parents on your own, a lawyer’s guide suggests personal contacts or online searches5. You and your own lawyer must arrange and follow through on checks of their screening, ability to pay and reliability—work an agency would otherwise coordinate5.
Knowing the parents does not replace the checks before treatment6. Carriers who know the parents need the same mental health review as those found through an agency. This is the advice of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). You also meet with the parents and a counselor, even if you are already close friends4.
Use the table to divide the work with the parents. You do not have to take on every booking and phone call yourself.
| Part of the journey | Who you need | What you and the parents arrange |
|---|---|---|
| Medical care | Your fertility clinic, then your pregnancy care team | Records, visits and the clinic’s instructions4 |
| Mental health evaluation | A mental health professional with surrogacy experience | Your evaluation and the joint talk with the parents |
| Agreement and legal parentage | Your own lawyer and the parents’ separate lawyer | Agreement reviews, clinic clearance and required court papers |
| Health insurance | An insurance professional; your lawyer for payment terms | Full policy review and a plan for costs insurance will not pay |
| Payments and expense claims | An escrow service or attorney, as state law allows | Deposits, payment requests and who sends the money7 |
| Travel and help at home | You, the parents and any help you arrange | Bookings, childcare and backup help |
For each task, write down a name, a way to reach them, and who can step in if they are away. Confirm that your clinic accepts the arrangement and find out what it needs before treatment. Our legal clearance guide explains that step.
An agency can help arrange the work. Your doctors, lawyers and other professionals still have their own jobs. In our agency program, you can choose your own lawyer or one of the independent lawyers we work with. That lawyer represents you.
Does going independent save money?
The parents can save an agency fee, but the other costs of the journey remain. If you already know each other, paying for help with matching may feel less useful. Still, matching is only one part of what needs to happen.
Lawyers who advise on these plans point out that the other bills still need to be paid. Their budget still has to cover treatment, mental health visits, legal fees and insurance8. Add the costs of running the account, your pay and agreed expenses5.
For you, a smaller agency bill does not mean fewer clinic visits or less time away from work. It also does not decide what you will be paid. Those are separate parts of the plan.
Compare the same set of services and expenses when you discuss the budget. A quote for legal work alone is not the full cost of a journey. Think about how much time you can give to making plans while you are pregnant, working and raising your own children.
How do I protect my payments and health insurance?
Before treatment starts, you need to know who has checked your insurance and how your payments will be made. A surprise medical bill can affect your household long after an appointment ends.
Give the person checking your insurance the full, current plan. An insurance card does not show all the limits or exclusions9. For a plan through work, you can ask the plan administrator for these papers10. An insurance expert can check how the plan treats a surrogate pregnancy. Your own lawyer can check who pays the bills the plan will not cover. In California, the contract must say how health costs will be paid. It must also disclose relevant policy terms, including when coverage is not clear2.
Rachel was helping a close friend when she began to wonder whether her health plan would cover the pregnancy.
In early March, Rachel and the intended parents began discussing an independent surrogacy arrangement. They already had a strong personal relationship, so they felt comfortable handling the process themselves.
They found a fertility clinic, started talking about a potential transfer date, and began gathering medical records.
Then, about three weeks into the process, Rachel asked a simple but important question:
Would her health insurance cover the pregnancy?
Her friend assumed the fertility clinic would review the policy. The clinic expected the attorneys to handle the insurance question. The attorneys had not yet received the complete policy documents.
Nobody was deliberately ignoring the issue. Everyone simply assumed someone else was responsible.
That was the moment the group realized something important: trust between the people involved does not automatically create a system for managing the process.
The relationship was strong. The coordination structure was not.
For payments, agree who puts money in, when it has to be there, and who sends it to you. Escrow means money is held and paid out under agreed rules. In New York, a paid journey needs independent escrow for base pay and expected extra costs. The money must be there before medical procedures, except the checks to see if you qualify11.
Having a professional manage the money helps keep payment questions apart from your bond with the parents7. Check the account arrangement against the rules for your state.
At LittleBee, the parents’ money is held in an attorney trust account. We arrange for agreed costs to be paid back, such as travel, parking and missed wages. You send receipts or proof of the cost, and our coordinator checks the payment’s progress. The details of how money moves are in our surrogacy escrow guide; our insurance review guide covers the policy documents to gather.
What if we disagree or plans change?
Talk to your care team about health, and your own lawyer about a legal dispute. A missed message may need a calm talk, while a dispute over pay needs legal advice.
It can feel awkward to talk about money or pregnancy choices with someone you love. A talk with a counselor before treatment gives you space to discuss what you each want and how to deal with conflict. ASRM includes these topics even when the carrier and parents already know each other4. You remain the person who gives consent for your medical care. Your lawyer can explain how the agreement addresses a disagreement and protects your rights7.
Try talking through one hard week before you commit. Suppose a clinic visit moves, you need someone to collect your children, and a medical bill has not been paid. Who calls the clinic, who handles pickup, and who follows up on the bill? What happens if the person you chose is away?
If the answer is “We’ll figure it out when it happens,” make a clearer plan before treatment starts.
In our agency program, we have on-call coordinators for nights and urgent needs. We pass medical questions to your care team and share the instructions they confirm. If you are helping someone close to you, our guide to surrogacy for a friend also covers the relationship side of that choice.
Is an independent journey right for me?
Going on your own may fit if you have time, help, and a clear plan for the work. You may want to choose your team and make plans directly with parents you know. You also need people who will do what they agreed, even when work or family gets busy5.
The practical question is: “If there is no agency, who will do the work an agency would normally coordinate?” A good answer names people who have agreed to do it. It leaves you room to look after yourself and your family, too.
Agency help may suit you if work and family already fill your day. In our program, when your doctor limits your activity, we help arrange childcare and household help. That can matter when pregnancy changes what you can do at home.
You can weigh both choices, whether this is your first journey or you have carried before. Look at the help you would have and the work you are willing to take on. Our questions to ask a surrogacy agency can help you compare specific services.
If you are considering our agency program, tell me your state and whether you already know the parents. Let me know what would be hardest to arrange at home. You can start your application to begin that conversation.
For the wider steps, see how to become a surrogate, or browse our legal and insurance articles.
References
- Know Your Rights: Information for Gestational Surrogates and Intended Parents — health.ny.gov, accessed 2026-10-17
- California Family Code § 7962 — leginfo.legislature.ca.gov, 2020-01-01
- How to ask the court to decide who the child’s parents are in a parentage case (for gestational carrier agreement cases only) — selfhelp.courts.ca.gov, accessed 2026-10-17
- Recommendations for practices using gestational carriers: a committee opinion (2022) — asrm.org, 2022
- Should You Pursue Independent Surrogacy? (4 Dos and Don’ts) — modernfamilyformation.com, accessed 2026-10-17
- Gestational Carrier | URochester Medicine — urmc.rochester.edu, accessed 2026-10-17
- Consideration of the gestational carrier: an Ethics Committee opinion (2023) — asrm.org, 2023
- Benefits and Risks of Independent Surrogacy: What Intended Parents Need to Know — kinseylawgroup.com, accessed 2026-10-17
- Understanding Your Policy — insurance.ca.gov, accessed 2026-10-17
- Plan Information — dol.gov, accessed 2026-10-17
- Family Court Act § 581-403: Requirements of gestational surrogacy agreement — nysenate.gov, 2025-03-07
About this guide
I’m Vivi, a Client Manager at LittleBee. I handle initial application questions. This guide draws on our case records and the professional sources listed here. Sources checked October 17, 2026.